The Resolution - From the movie Courageous

With my husband finally home from overseas, I had waited to watch the movie Courageous with him. I had heard it would touch your heart. Particularly if you are a parent. I feel this is where I should give the warning that if you are a crier, you WILL most definitely cry, and will most likely spend roughly the last half of the movie with tears. At least I did.

The acting is of course, not so wonderful. But the message is very powerful. It is a message not only of faith in family, and of ensuring a father's role in the family, but of accountability to your family, even to your friends and community. I like that these men realize the seriousness of their undertaking, and proclaim their resolve in front of their family, their friends, and the Lord.

Most of all, I love that although this is is a message based upon faith, you do not have to be a Christian to understand, nor to undertake it. You can honor your children, and your commitments without a relationship with the Lord.

As I watched, I wished for a resolution for mother's and wives'. I got my wish upon a little bit of research on the internet!

But first, here is The Resolution:

Picture taken from:  http://www.bhpublishinggroup.com/courageous/products.asp?9781433671227

Next, I found the audiobook The Resolution for Men on iTunes, and I gifted it to my husband. Then I found The Resolution for Women on iTunes, and downloaded it for myself. As a challenge, I want us each to listen to the separate books. And at the end, I want us to come together, and make resolutions as a couple; to each other, and to our child.

I can't wait to see how God will use us, and bring us together, and show us how to not be just "good enough" parents. But to be the parents we are meant to be in God's eyes.

Next, I am challenging us to the Love Dare from Fireproof! Not that we need to fall back in love, but who couldn't use more romance, more love in their lives?!

5 am, and LOTS to do

It is 5 am (roughly) and I have been up for a few hours... I just have too much to do. The girls are coming over on Friday (yay!) for dinner, movies, and wine! But, that means dusting and vacuuming, and cleaning prior to them coming over. And I have my first big Oklahoma History test on Thursday at 1230 pm, and later that night my mom and I are taking Eli to see Toy Story 3 at the State Fair Ice Capades. That should be interesting, he has never been before. 
So much to do, so little time.. 

The First Month

Well, September is finally here, complete with cooler weather that is much needed after the record breaking days of over 100 degree inferno heat we have had to endure! The cooler weather has brought with it the reminder that every Tues/Thurs my husband and I are supposed to be sharing our lunchtimes on campus. That is, until we found out his offer had been accepted for a six month tour in Afghanistan.

I am not your typical military wife, simply for the fact that my husband does not often face the chance of deployment, much less a mobilization. And his work for our country only disrupts our usual schedule one weekend a month, and two weeks a year. So, when your "conventional" wife and mom are suddenly thrown headfirst into life as a military wife, well.. it can be a challenge. Luckily, this is our 2nd tour, and I am not quite as wet behind the ears as I was the first time. There are a few things I have learned that are required of a military wife, whether she is a "typical" one or not. First, she must love her country as much as her husband does. Or else she will never understand his deployments, and they will be much more difficult. Second, she must love her husband more than she loves her country. Because there will be long nights, long days, and lots of changes. Third, you have to keep yourself busy and involved. Otherwise, there is too much waiting around for the next email, the next phone call. And we would go crazy just waiting around. 

I knew when he left there would be the fresh heartache, and the deep feeling in the pit of my stomach that I have yet to accurately describe. I also remembered the worried, the anxiety, particularly the first week or so, while he was traveling to his assigned base. Yet, this time is different in many ways. The hole that he left was at first almost unbearable. I would have been just fine curling up for the next few days, and never leaving bed. But moms don't have that luxury.  We put on our brave face, and we smile. We must push through on our own tenacity. Because there is a little boy out there that needs us.Those first few days, he kept waiting for Daddy to walk in the door, kept asking Mommy,"When do we pick up Daddy at the airport?" Those are the hardest days. Eli is 3 and a half. Old enough to understand Daddy is gone for a long time. And he almost gets that Daddy is far away. But remember when you were little, and your birthday, Christmas, even a 3 hour car ride to Dallas, seemed to take FOREVER? How do you explain a long time in little kid language? Six months must seem like an eternity to them. I will let you all know when I figure that one out!  




I have found though, that I am still extra sensitive to certain things. I can write about him, but I can't talk about him, or him being gone. I start to well-up every time. And some days, I still miss him so much, those phone calls are my only relief, but I still get off the phone crying. Because I don't know when I will hear his voice next. We have been blessed though, and I hear from him just about every night, in between shipments and almost every morning once he gets home from work.  There are a few exceptions, of course, when he has to work late. Or is completely exhausted, and falls asleep just signing on to his computer. The other thing I have found out, is the anxiety is worse this time around. Or at least it has been this first month. I have been having trouble sleeping for at least a year or so now anyways, but add this on top of it. I sleep only a few hours at night. Only to wake up suddenly. 
Next thing, what I have oh so fondly dubbed "The Mom List" is running through my head. I need to wash the dishes, I need to do this load of laundry, I need to schedule that bill to pay, I need to find that last source for my paper.... I even got up and dusted my living room the other night. It could have waited, but my mind wouldn't let me put it aside. Maybe it is being a "single" mom. Or just all that still has to be done. 

But somehow, through it all, We are surviving. All of us. My husband and I are growing closer, and we appreciate every email, every phone call that we get. We appreciate all the little things. And Eli loves getting to talk to his Daddy on the phone, and make pictures for him. Eli and I are still working on his toddler "listening ears" and figuring out our routine together. Everyday we are growing, and every day is going to be work, at least in some ways.

“Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust, no fading of its hope; it can outlast anything. Love still stands when all else has fallen.”